Juvenile Ink.

Tangs & Seizures.

2007-01-02T05:14:00.000+08:00

http://dripilepsy.blogspot.com/

New blog. Go. Link. Awe.

P.S. Sak, I'll update on the new blog bout out little ... trip. (:

Check sick mate.

2007-01-01T03:45:00.000+08:00

I'm neglecting life. And I'm moving.

It's an annual thing. Link realeases later in 2007.

... and a happy new year. Hallelujah.

Christmas aftermath.

2006-12-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

I have been reading erotic Harry Potter fanfiction. From there: I want you to judge me. Go on, assume me as a nympho, I completely accept. Not because I am one, but because the whole goddamn world's just so caught up on building standards for a 15 year old girl that I couldn't be happier to change a little bit of the requirements.

I'm going to nip off to camp. I hate camps.

Patron saint of Christmas.

2006-12-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

I'm officially roomless; dateless, as of Christmas day.

How I am currently without a room - you're welcomed to ask. Please. Do. Or I'll feel more uncared for than I already am.

How I got dateless - well, bygones.

Here: Doris thinks that people communicating with Santa offering him cholesterol-filled cookies & milk is cute & I do think so too.

In fact it's so cute I'm going to offer him porkchops and liverwrust juice this year. Maybe I should give out presents to little children and enslave elfs. Then people wouldn't condemn me for being fat.

However, seeing how Nnesah anticipates seeing him slide out of her air conditioner, I feel I should be entitled to ask for something too.

I ask for my room or a date. On Christmas. Seeing how the former might be impossible to obtain under the present circumstances, I wouldn't mind a little company. And I won't be choosy so gender can be either, or.

I'm sitting in the midst of all my possesions, and by which I mean all. Pants, clocks, wand. Yeah, wand. Skip. Point is, they're not in my room; they're outside in the hall, spilling out onto the corridor, where people come and go asking me if I'm having a Christmas garage sale and they use their grubby little fingers and pick up my deodorant and sniff.

I can't explain how thrilled I am by the dawning of Christmas. It's a fantastic holiday. Oh, my mother's screaming at my maid for leaving the cookies unattended for the last hour. There's baby spit on my stamp album.

Pretty.

Down little road.

2006-12-23T16:39:00.000+08:00

My life's escalating, positively. Speech therapy. All it takes.

Made Kian Meng chuckle and outran George on Friday, won a drink from Jun He today, tripped and flew three feet on Monday, got a date with Sak on Christmas, and tonight there's a BBQ.

Like I said, speech therapy.

Short and brief. That'll be all. Btw, Pris, we need to. Soon. Ana. Ragu. Maria. Humaira. Nnesah. Skip. And for the sake of argument, hello Lester (:

Pretty fly.

2006-12-21T03:58:00.000+08:00

It's 3.58 & I'm still awake? Surely this can't be right.

Besides having to go to school today at 8 and struggling with drooping eyelids, I think I'm quite alright.

4 hours prior to this, I was watching movie after movie, having missed the movie marathon at Mil's earlier in the afternoon. I knew I had to be up at 7 the next day, what with Jun He and Gary calling me repeatedly on my phone, reminding me of the Sec One orientation - I still chose to watch mind-rotting television.

I'm a victim of my own choices.

But since I'm already up, I can't go back to sleep now can I. So I'm whiling time away, watching DVDs on my laptop and apparently .. I'm abit hungry but I can't bring myself to go to the kitchen. Alone.

Have you watched Cinderella, that Korean horror movie?

No one's online by the way. Which is unatural because at this hour, there'd still be at least 2 people still talking to me. My MSN's list filled with red men, and the only green one is .. Mabel, whose away at the moment.

And, I happen to find the law fascinating. I don't find it interesting in a way that people actually do pay $500 for littering, but it's so intriguing that you could use many different facts against each other, and argue the rights.

Law school. Now that's a thought, isn't it?

All in all.

2006-12-20T13:55:00.000+08:00

The rain's stopped pouring; my dad's retreated home. Honestly.

I'm watching the clock tick, as if expecting the sands of time to drop faster than it's current rate. Things to do, people to prick. I believe that every good thing comes to an end eventually. But I wasn't expecting it to end this fast. T'was fun while it lasted though.

Tried.

2006-12-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

I've drawn up 4 posts over the last few days, and I saved them all as drafts. I wonder who would really read them, if I really did publish them to the world wide web.

Do people really read each other's entries because they're genuinely interested, or is it an obligation, as friends, to be polite/nice/well-mannered, or at the very least, pretend to care about each other's lives. More commonly though, with the hope that the other would read their blog in return.

I'm quite sick of the internet. Everyone's fake & superficial, because it's easier to be someone absolutely glamorous, witty, fun-loving, and well-liked, because you're just facing a screen. In real life though, your disposition screams the total opposite.

I only know a few whose real-life personality clash magnificently with their online one. I salute them, because I admit, that even I, haven't been able to pull that off.

All this youth pride and egoistic ideologies, it's laughable, isn't it.

This - is for all those I know through the web only, and have yet to speak to you face to face. Let's meet up, and see if we really like each other when our lips emit words instead of our fingertips.

You know who you are.

Hello dear beloved!

2006-12-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm back (:
I actually laughed when I read my tagboard mail; it never fails to please.

@humaira: Yeah we'll go out, we'll have to! It's - it's ... practically compulsary!

@lester: So how many days has it been now?(: &, you're always away/busy when I go online so we keep missing each other at different intervals.

@maria: Awh dude. I jumped into the Indian Ocean because I heard Ram tried to drown himself with his turban ...

@cameo: Sure, for $7(:

@pris: HEY HO A MERRY O! When are we? & I miss you too(:

@susu!: lawl. same here, same here :D

@clifton: AHAHAHA ... WTF.

---

Vacation wasn't so great. Ironically, the pictures convey the absolute opposite [if you know what I shamelessly mean(:]

I want so badly to be a good photographer, it kinda hurts.

Here's to one day.

2006-12-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

Thank you(:

WTFUX.

2006-12-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Life is seeping out of me like I have a leak somewhere, and it's coming out of my ass too. I'm not in the best of mental states & I just wanna scream. I want to run somewhere vacuum and dark, and scream.

I want to latch on to one phrase, just one, and repeat that over & over, crying & screaming all at once. I want to get to that state, where I'm fighting for air & my throat's dry & painful, but I'm feeling oddly high because of the lack of air. I want to feel, & know, that I'm fighting for something, even if it's just air.

So I'm reading Lester's, Evan's, Nikita's, Rai's & Zach's blog & they're having a blasty blast out there. Lester's been to chalet after chalet, getting drunk & happy; Evan's performing at the Esplanade almost every other day & meeting witty bboys; Nikita's going to parties & BBQs like there's no tomorrow; Rai's thrilled with her new bf; & Zach's having a swell time with his gf.

Maria's probably having a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious time at Youth Camp right now.

Then Sak tells me she has 2 BBQs on the same day & I wince, because that's another person out there having a life.

Humaira won't fucking go out with me, by the way.

AND I just found out that my 2 best friends went to Genting together & I wasn't even told. No, I wasn't. No note, no little slip of SMS, no fucking hint, whatsoever. ZILCH.

I was looking forward to tomorrow's exco meeting, because the excos never fail to crack me up; but N FUCKING O they postponed it to the 21st. [!!] Thank you, go swollow a knife I hate you all.

Oh, & my mother's changed the dates of our family vacation, so it clashes with the concert on Sunday AND THE FUCKING OBS REUNION ON MONDAY.

I'm gonna howl, I'm gonna howl, I'm gonna fucking howl so go away or I will pour hot scalding emo on you.

Don't fucking rationalize with me, I am not in the mood to debate with you & your CHEER UPs & THINK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFEs. Fuck no, I will bite your balls off if you ever so touch me with your unprofitable cooing.

Yeah, I'm self-centered today. What's wrong with that, everyone else is skinny and successful, they shouldn't be allowed to be self-centered whereas the ones who are overweight and dying should be able to hog all the ugliness to themselves.

"I saw two guys fighting on TV once. The lad shoved a knife up the other's arse & twist. Had nightmares for weeks."
Thank you Howard that was completely random; I will kill you in your sleep.

Family& friends.

2006-12-06T14:13:00.000+08:00

My father's in Singapore & everytime we go out as a family, I can't help but notice how cute our little family looks like. Yes, you read me right, cute. We look perfectly normal, with two chinese-looking preschoolers tugging at each other, a brooding oversized teenager, and finally the au pair that holds it all together.

It's so pretty looking, I wanna shout out HEY! I HAVE A FATHER! HE'S HERE, FLESH AND BLOOD, AND WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY, dagnamit!

---

Went out last Thursday with the clique to celebrate two birthdays, & as all outings with the magical seven goes, they're all orgasmic.

We went to Tampines, & had a buffet lunch at some ... restuarant. We paid a hefty price, and the food didn't disappoint us. Then as happy, well-fed people, we hit the arcade & took [fugly, heat-suffocating] neoprints.

We talked about how our lives would change in a few years time, & whether we would drift apart, or remain the closest of friends. We laughed about the silliest things and exchanged spastic SMSes on the bus.

I look forward to Christmas(:

Seven.

2006-12-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

Sak's requested that I do this; I am delighted.

7 Random Things About Me:
- I can stare& admire a beautiful photograph for hours.
- I hate weddings.
- People think I'm 18. Or older.
- I smile/talk to myself when I'm alone.
- I am hypocrital.
- While people think my English is fabtacular, in reality my spelling sux.
- I'm fat. [OMG, NOOOOOOOOOO]

7 Things That Scares Me:
- Body odour.
- Commitment.
- Cynics.
- Getting into major, major shittage.
- Intimidating greatness.
- Maggots.
- That thing under my bed, on the ceiling, and in the mirror.

7 Random SONGS:
- Heartache March; Yongfook.
- Forget December; Something Coporate.
- Tokyo Drift; Teriyaki Boyz.
- Bohemian Rhapsody; Queen.
- Careless Whisper; George Micheal
- Dance Dance; FOB.
- Liar Liar; TBS.

Then, I stole this from Sam.

Seven things that I like most:
- Photography.
- Pornography.
- Gay people.
- Wit.
- Companionship.
- The rush of endorphins.
- Security.

Seven important things in my room:
- Laptop.
- iPod.
- Camry.
- Bed.
- Life.
- Virginity.
- Me.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
- Kiss a girl.
- Eat insects.
- Bungee jump.
- Photograph pyramids.
- Earn a million. Or two.
- Exchange body heat in Disneyland, Florida.
- Establish a mutual friendship with the president.

Seven things I can do:
- Bootlick.
- Intimidate.
- Photograph.
- Scream.
- Imagine the most wicked/wildest/weirdest situations.
- Laugh till beverages come out of my nose.
- Talk openly about sex.

Seven things I say the most:
- Pie.
- OMGWTFBBQ.
- Ahhahahaha ... asshole.
- How many megapixels is that?
- Oh noes.
- This is fucking retirbution.
- Bygones.

Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend:
- A tad bit idiosyncratic.
- English must not suckeh.
- One that doesn't look like a walking stick.
- And, I can do sans the cheesiness of name-calling.
- Somehow gets aroused by my other friends but chooses to stick to me(:
- A maturity level high enough to turn me on.
- Someone who likes me for how much I can eat, or am.

Seven words I'd like to say now:
How many times have I typed 'photograph'?

Seven people to do this:
- Pris.
- Lester.
- Cliffie.
- Maria.
- Zubaidah.
- Rai.
- Sabs?

Seh random.

2006-12-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

I owe the 8 girls a post on the birthday outing & Sak on her quiz; (:
I'll do that in abit, but as eccentricness goes;

Me: Eheh. You think you're so smart. With your gay purple drawings & weird sweets. Well I have news for you!! SANTA IS COMING TO RAPE YOU!

Shada: noo ... i'm nt goin to lose my virginity to a fat man in red.

Me: Ahah. Which part of rape do you not understand? You don't have a choice!

Shada: bah. i rather be raped by batman. he is hotter.

Me: Batman! No I like flash. I bet he can go on for hours :D

Shada: nah. flash will probably crack stupid jokes while doin it.

Me: Ahah! No he won't! I'll keep his mouth busy :)

Shada: ok ... multi taskin hah?

Me: Why not you've seen him in action, he's flexible.

Shada: thats john john with no dick.

Me: Ahah! But he can morph his own dick now can't he?! And he can make it as long as he wants!

Shada: the anatomy of john john.

El. Oh. El.

Chocolateh Dada Yaya.

2006-11-30T11:23:00.000+08:00

I've surprised myself. And in this little act of surprising myself, I've decided to reward myself by telling all you guys, what happened, to the very extreme, of how I've surprised myself.

So it was the SC Retreat Camp right, & for the first time in months, I finally feel like the excos are all ... bonded. Oh screw the cheesiness, we're so fucking bonded that we're sleeping together and picking up each other's underwear!

The days were shit but the nights were like everyone was high on cocaine or something.

The first night was a blasty blast. The excos crashed the harbour, with Sak, Humaira & me grabbing the mic, yodelling out songs while the juniors jammed on the foosball table & the rest of the guys did their thing on the pool table.

I tried playing foosball with Ahmad [the little twerp] & lost 10 to 3. Sak & I dominated the pool table after that, & I won the first time round, while she pwned me all over in the second. SAK YOU OWE ME COKE!

That night was so fucking awesome, I would have killed for another.

The second night was the BBQ thing. After overloading ourselves with food, we played netball/rugby with the guys it was Fun. Yeah, that was Fun with a capital F cause it ain't just fun, it was fucking fun & guess what? I bolded it too, so shut up bitches & shit ice.

And here's the best part, when it was bath time, we were all sitting in the SC room, doing our own thing, picking our nose & all that, but I had to drip soap all over Jun He's clothes. Aaaah, forget it, I won't go into it but it involved his underwear, and a broom. Bygones. :D

So lights out came for the rest, & we went to the AVA room, planning to watch a movie but everyone was too lazy to get pass so Nnesah started messing around with everyone. She rolled all over the girls, yeah literally, rolled over them, & went on to piss the guys off.

One gender was supposed to sleep behind the room but nobody wanted to go there because it was creepy & satanic looking at night so we ended up all in the front, & Humaira & I heard some weird humming sound, which no one claimed they made.

Hey Sak, now that you're gone, I'll carry your legacy as the one who could party the whole night long, still play pool at 6, and hike all over Bt. Timah, like Wonder Woman in a rugby shirt. But seriously, you're gonna be so missed, I'm gonna make sure that the next time I play pool & the first ball goes in, that one goes to you. :D

Alright, sads asides, I enjoyed camps' nights alot. It wasn't even about what I did, it was about who I did it with. Ok, for those horny bastards, let me rephrase that. The excos, yeah. Yeahhhhhhhh.

Retreat.

2006-11-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

Since I missed Lester so much while he was away for his class chalet thing, I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine & whisk off to camp for 3 days. (:

Tappered tits &,
plastic dicks.

I'm sure as hell someone's gonna get screwed. Hard.

Miss me (:

Happy feet.

2006-11-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

I am happy.
In fact, I'm very happy!

Don't question my happiness.
It is, unquestionable.

I woke up this morning feeling rather pissed and pubescent. I went online and started cyber-barking at people who innocently approached me for a nice afternoon chat. I'm sorry, really, I am D:

But I just wanted to go out!

Naturally, I got even more pissed when everyone I called were "busy", and people even poured sacarstic sympathy on me ... yeahitwaspeishannoyoudidn'tseethat. And I thought, was there a fucking note I didn't get? Was there an email telling everyone to go busy themselves with balls & family? Or was this karma [that bitch], kicking me right where it hurts, cause I chose not to follow Rai, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friends?

Probably.

And then, my mom dropped the bomb on me for she presented me with her credit card and requested that I go to town, do a little errand for her & spend the rest of my day galloping off with my friends. Timing couldn't be better.

"LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERY FUCKING ONE TODAY?!"

Read this law book on the MRT & I was really, really pissed. Had dickwads getting on my nerves, armpits in my face & all that jazz.

So I decided to make the best of it, and watched Happy Feet! Alone! As gay as it sounds, it was really quite fantastic. Got myself a bag of pretzels and sat beside some random guy with "Respect 100% punk or milk gets you drunk" printed on the back of his tee, which made me snicker.

And guess who I bumped into after the movie? Yeah, it's the shenanigan we all love - Rahmat! We went back together, & I swear he was sniggering at my day's story.

Btw Zach, I didn't fall on my butt today so - HAHA! :D

Look, Maria! I'm trying to do the whole Josepth thing!

Oreo.

2006-11-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

My body is aching beyond reasonable tolerance, I've got a sore throat, & my skin tone's not doing very well either. Netball is awesome.

Here's something: tomorrow's my last day of training and I have to attend a fucking concert at 7. I'm not psyched because Humaira might not be able to make it, since mentioning my name in her household is like preaching Satan's vows or something, let alone wanting to go out with me.

Nevertheless, I have to go since I paid a fiver, & I dragged Mil along as well. And my cousins. Oh, god. My cousins. I won't even go there, ok.

Do you know what else? My other cousin is at my place & she's going around asking for stuff like Panadol & Colgate like WTF I'M TRYING TO WATCH TV HERE. She's constantly asking me to watch her videos, read her book, and follow her shop. And when I go out, she calls every 30 mins & asks me to go home. When I don't, she nags about how being a girl, we should come home early, like we're a fucking clan or something and should pray and eat and sleep together.

I'm an ungrateful prat, all of you know that so I don't appreciate people coming into my life, sleeping in my bedroom, wearing my good clothes, using my laptop, and staying on for 7 to 10 days when the original plan was only 4 days. [!!]

What's worst, what's worst, is that she's telling me her life story. I don't wanna fucking know about how your boyfriend bought you flowers and you, being the female idealist, gave them away and refused to forgive him!

I don't! I don't! I don't!

I refuse to go home after netball because it means seeing her, and all her glory.

My mother just asked me to pick up a beatle WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY. DO I HAIL FROM A FAMILY OF PSYCHO MANIACS?!

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO FINISH THIS POST. IT'S CRAZY, IT'S CRAZY, I MISS EVERYONE FROM SEC ONE LIKE RUSSELL AND PRIS AND SHAHIDAH & NATHAN AND IT'S JUST A FEW MORE MONTHS TILL LEGAL SEX & BOOZE FOR ME.

&& gays are fucking awesome, ok.

Blood test.

2006-11-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

If sane were a girl, I wouldn't be her. While my emotions tumble up & down the chart looking for a steady gradient, I agitate them even more by tormenting myself with thoughts of death and failure.

I demand to know why the female stucture is built so heedlessly. We hold back what we really feel when the opportunity whizzes us by & blurt out undermining statements to be heard/noticed at the wrong time.

At this very moment, when angst attacks me wave after wave, I welcome it with songs blaring out emo lyrics and melancholy tunes. It's the need to feel that my problems are as important as everyone else's that's igniting this particular ... act.

Or maybe, it's just the lack of blood. Eh, Maria?

Hatchet swinger.

2006-11-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

If I weren't your average 15 year old, I think I would've killed all my friends by now. By means of accident of course.

I seem to endanger them all - & I mean this literally. Humaira was admitted to the hospital yesterday night because of me. I am your reckless teenager with no regard for safety & here's a tip: entrust me with wheels & you're whistling death down with a bone.

The good news is that she's alive with no major concussions & while the guilt is driving me up the wall, I have enough sense to distance myself away from her family, after all, I was with her, there's not enough blame to go around.

I'm troubled.

Wet from head to toe.

2006-11-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

It's quite improbable to feel sleazy in the afternoons but hey, if alcohol was water. I'll make this little update brief.

An Inconvenient Truth bored me to tears, least the complimentary ticket wasn't wasted: Maria enjoyed watching charts & Al Gore. Sides getting heated up in an over-leathered blazer & watching horny chinese men on the MRT, yesterday was damn fun lah.

And here's another thing: the saddist you will all get accustomed with is Zachary. He tried to scare the shit out of me at 5 in the morn! Well, besides being immoral, he's pretty sweet & to my knowledge, has a good seven. ;)

My mother grounded me & now I'm here, getting turned on by Brand New's Sic Transit Gloria, instead of getting crunk with all of them who're probably crashing Vivo by now.

I'm going to get high on lemonade & tap water now.

Influential hype.

2006-11-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

Today's a Tuesday, & Jun He will not make a good date. [!]

I'm sorry to:
People on MSN whom I've only given half-witted replies to.
Whose that you ask?
Well -
Pei Shan
Aisyah
Lester
Zachary
& all those people whom I've dragged into that mini party.
& ... the other ... two. ;)

Tradition calls.

2006-11-12T16:19:00.000+08:00

Been going out, seeking forgiveness with the gang. Though, the downfall was that Zue wasn't there with us, &&, it really wasn't complete without Zue ):

Quoted from Zue's blog:

"Wednesday, I didn't follow the E2 bunch to jalan raye because of they-know-why. Abit sad though, cause like what Wada said, I couldn't race with her to Sue's place to get the massage chair. I still remember last year's very very well. She's seriously a fast runner."

Race to get the massage chair's a privy joke & well, ignore the last part (:

We did have fun though.

Yeah, it was sweet.

People got scared & stupid.

I know I sound like a man D:

T'was great.

&&, I finally got my iPod nano! & being the iPod virgin, I was completely clueless on how to transfer songs, having to resort to Xin Hui, iPod holder for a very long time :D

<3!

P.S. Happy bilated birthday, Humaira! 15th, eh? :D

The miscellaneous post.

2006-11-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

So it was spinach. Or some green vegetable mashed into a glob of green mush.

... "Also, one cup of milk will help, mmhmm." She picked up the cup with a white block inside it; was it supposed to be milk?

... "One cup, will do. It'll help you ... mmhmm." She waved the cup, the block didn't move.

I struggled to keep my face straight. In fact, I clasped my hands over my mouth to hide my smirk. My eyes betrayed me and they turned into little slits when I grinned.

... "Ok, mmhmm." She cleared her throat, when she realized I was snickering at her.

She put down the cup and picked up the green mush, waving it while talking, and it looked like a green blur now, at the very least, it looked less revolting.

... "Two servings of vegetables, mmhmm. One day, two servings, mmhmm." She poked the mush, and suddenly, it dawned to me.

Food nutritionists were aging women, nagging at overweight adolesences with plastic food cluttering their table. Food & Nutrition was going to lead me here, in this air-conditioned hell hole, it was going to destroy me.

Literature became ten times more appealing, what with Ms. Zalifah's Literature book sitting on my lap, the hot pink ink peeping out from the pages.

---

Proper update on what's been happening for the past few days have been delayed. I don't feel social on the net anymore than I do in the bathroom.

I spend more time on DeviantART now, browsing anonymously through pretty pictures of prestigeous photographers.

---

Here's something I need to tell the world though:
Seniors, seniors, to all my seniors who have ever acknowledged/talked to me.
If luck was tipping the balance between you & a good grade, here's my push.
If it's abit too late, I apologize, but if anything, I want to read your blogs, about surprise distinctions & hear legends about the one who hit 10 points, or below.

AYE SAK! That calculator better do you good (:

The mocha latte funfest.

2006-11-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

This week has tided me over with school and ... after-school activities. When laziness and procrastination has laid off me, I might do a proper update with pictures & all that jazz.

For now: "I fart in your general direction." - Domo kun.

Never be lonely.

2006-10-31T01:41:00.000+08:00

People in love get scared and stupid.

'Indulgence' isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

Pot pie.

2006-10-29T20:16:00.000+08:00

Been watching 4 hours of The Simpsons, & all that twisted humor's seeping into my system. For the greater glory of my readers - I confess that I am madly in love with a child poisoner.

Plus -
I've won a complimentary pass for two to see An Unconvenient Truth! But I've done my research & it's a documentary featuring some president, global warming and, what we have done to dip this Earth deep in shit by the heels. Doubting any of my friends would be interested - here's an invitation if you want to go (:

I am the nicest sod. Pie.

Went to Helmi's openhouse yesterday, which was drapped all the way in Sengkang. It wasn't a party, but neither was it a bummer. Scott, out escort wasn't much help, what with him pressing every level on the elevator, but - he did get us there.

Amiably, Helmi's aunt's house [yes, there's an explanation but I'd rather not] had a nice bathroom; it was tiled green with no mirrors, and lots of space - enough to fit two people! Excuse me, while I type this blushingly.

The host!

Exchanging lame jokes with a lame bloke.

We were horny, omg.
We were horny, omg.
We were horny, omg.

Get on before it leaves.

2006-10-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

Though I'm saving the mawkishness for grad night, I'll tell you this - my presence in 3E2 didn't really matter to me, because I thought that I was just in another class, perhaps even a little grateful that I wasn't swept into the E3 & E4 stream.

But it's weird how it takes a tedious web game and a blindfolded fall to twist this logic, seeing how (almost) everyone would really give, all they've got - for the class.

And I'm not even talking about my own class. Yesterday, as girls and boys alike cried, I looked away thinking, they're going to be seperated - things won't be the same for them, I've got people in my class who genuinely cares for me - what the hell is wrong with me?

Funny thing, time is. How it flies so fast, at the end, you can hardly remember all that jazz.

---

About taking pure Literature:

Maria's Lit teacher urges me to take it up.
Maria concurs.
Lester says it's improbable.
Pris's teacher [Ms Zuraidah] claims it too late.
Paul thinks I can do it (:
Nnesah hints that Shakespere is hard as hell.
My mother won't hear of it.
Everyone else's viewpoint is welcomed at this point of time.

If my mother refuses to pay for my Lit tuition/paper/books, I, in turn, refuse to crash and burn, thereby, paying for my own stuff. Fuck morals and fuck F&N. I can't cook eggs for nuts nor can I tally the nutritional value for a carton of milk.

I'm a tad angsty, can you tell?

Thy's risk.

2006-10-25T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of taking up purrrre Lit & dropping goddamn F&N. I feel weak D:

Humaira will sing tomorrow - awe & praise or fleer & die.
...
Hafiz so sexayyyyy!
"B-I-R-D-S, BIRDDDDDS!"

Crunk.

2006-10-22T13:19:00.000+08:00

Went to town with Zue, Humaira & Aisyah on Friday, and it was great. Things only turned sour when the day hit darkness, what with Zue getting a call & me acting like a total jerk. Nevertheless, before that was still awesome - Aisyah got her hair cut & we ate at Ramenten. I could finally dress up decentlyyyyyy!

We can camwhore. [!]

Updated in detail because I care.

2006-10-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 7 today, broke the sound barrier and actually managed to bathe, throw on my uniform, and bolt down to catch a cab in five. And the cab fare was $5! Bloody hell.

Anyhoo, the day was ok, even when Mr Goh made his presence in Math today. Nnesah did some tatoo thing on my foot, and we made a small puddle near her table. Had fun fooling around with the senior excos after school.

Met Maria after that and went shopping for Mil & Humaira's presents. -cough- (Don't tell Mil I got her a silicon nipple. [!] Private joke - meehee.) Met mother at Pizza Hut, & saw Rokiah, Hazura and ... their friend.

Then my mother got pissed because my brother lost his wallet and she started yelling at him in the middle of Causeway and I, well, just stood there. It's no use trying to save him cause she'll just start yelling at me and then I'll be in major shitage. Honomanukatuluh.

Thassit, I guess. How boring, I know. Go to Zue's blog. She's got some slideshow going on. I demand you watch and marvel! Pie.

Do what thou wilt, bitch.

2006-10-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

What the hell are we? Like, frikkin' outcasts? But hey, you know. Getting worked up won't solve anything. Smile and ignore. Frown and fight. Bitch and die.

What's going on in my mind is entirely fictional. Really:

Laces, laces, all that ... lace.
Mother chicken.
OBS reunion.
Wadabanana is hard to write. It goes Wadabanananana ... na. (Cheers, Sak!)
I need a raving session. Badly. Tomorrow. Maria?
I'll be the last to know if anyone of my close friends got pregnant.
No, really.

Daniel is bloody cute. (Srsly.)

MFCBluh.

2006-10-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Bet god's tryna punish me for watching porn.

Stunkofama.

2006-10-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

I am teh miserable dope.

I can't imagine why I'm at home choking on the haze on a Saturday afternoon so therefore, I proclaim myself a complete miser who likes nothing but sucking on tubes of ooze.

You're a sick chicken fink.

Anyhoo, prior to my current status, I am free on afternoons and nights - and if anyone has anything you want to go to but can't find anyone to go with - please. Call me, and I'll be there in a jiffy. Parties, art exhibitions - I will gladly dress up for the occasion regardless of how close you are to me.

This isn't a personal ad to find friendship - I do have friends, mind you, really nice, good ones too - but they either already have plans, or are preoccupied with something else, hence, leaving my holidays free, free, free.

Call me.

Bigalow.

2006-10-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

I'm way too lazy a prat to look for new skins. So I modified. And modified. And modified. Photoshop wasn't being too hard on me. For that, in between sneezes and snot - this skin emerged.

Fucking awesome.

But I don't like it. It's got that I'm-emo-I-cry-blood-and-gore vibe. I shit you not, this template took me half a day to complete. So I'm not going to change any time soon. Liplock was starting to annoy me - how it wouldn't stick to the goddamn background.

Pris is already sending out the slackaroo alerts so I'll be taking that cue. Oh, Wahidah - just a day before Maths Paper 1 (oh yes, the only redemption left after being scarred with knowledge that only half the class passed that paper 2), you're up playing around with your blogskin.

OMFG blackout. The lights on the streets are out and the police station is dark beyond reason and I'd take a photo, but I'm already scared shitless as it is.

I spoke too soon. The lights are back on and I'm wondering why my electronics didn't crash and burn.

Fucking haze. I bet it was the midnight haze that caused that momentary blackout. I can't run around without feeling choked up every 5 mins and what reeks is this hell of a sorethroat and all the snorting, and coughing and, and - I hope the people of Sumatra are running around with bras cupped over their mouths. Like Shaf said - where's Captain Planet when you need him?

Evian.

2006-10-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

I'm in the midst of dying and photoshopping.

I can't breathe for nuts through one nostril. A fever is catching up and I can't sit up without feeling the urge to gag.

On the other hand, I can't photoshop without having to pause every now and then to make that, gagging motion to make myself feel better but don't really gag.

If I catch the gastric flu I'm going to let Nnesah have it /:

Fridge.

2006-10-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

It's almost traditional to break fast with your closest ('sides your family) for at least one day. Humaira insisted on going to Banquet so much that we compiled. Atmosphere was real cheery, if not hyperactive. We're probably going again on the 16th aaaand probably crack up as much.

Before that, I was looking for the POA Solutions Book which I thought was with Sing Nee so being the paranoid loudmouth I was, I yelled across the classroom to ask her for the book. She told me it was with Sandy so I asked her too. Told me it was with Zhen Wei so I desperately asked him. Shaking his head, he pointed to Calvin. Calvin looked though his bag then looked up.

"It's at home."

Lord help me. The gang trudged to his house to get the book and it was a riot. Calvin the rich boy.

I was high yesterday, least Maria, Aisyah and Humaira knows why :D

Nnesah wouldn't crack a smile but Wahidah does that for her with pleasuuur.

Zue had nice hair. /moans with envy

Teh infamous bucket rice.

Give me pie.

Oooh, it's big.

2006-10-05T20:35:00.000+08:00

Blogger's fucked up, it's been fucked up eversince it's realised that it's got over a million people all over the world turning to it wanting to ramble on about their meaningless lives so they fuck up, you know, just for fun, to annoy the fuck out of us.

But, whatever.

I went to the library on Wednesday and found a book while prowling through the fiction section. The title read 'The Pornography's Poem' and I knew I just struck gold. The book was, obviously, about porn but it wasn't the stuff you'd read and get horny but rather, the biography of porn.

It wasn't boring - it was intriguing. It portrayed the mind of a teenager, who saw how everything around him was shitty and superficial. He wasn't cynical, but philisophical - and not in all that karma shit but rather, he chose to accept what was real; friends and family - and dismiss what wasn't; materialistic objects, popularity gainers. There was so many things I could relate to, and it was comforting, reading about the familiar feelings and thoughts.

Honestly, porn is good. Watch some - it won't corrupt you. Watch and wank. It's only natural. It didn't work for me because I got bored with it. So open up a little.

And Humaira, I still think that a guy unzipping his pants, opening up, a contained gun, revealing a pair of boxers is a good idea.

Sec 3 art students should know what I'm on about.

MISFITS at midnight.

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

SAY SAY SAY 11.55!

Scrounging around for hints and tips for tomorrow's SS paper. I'm too lazy to study all the goddamn topics but I'll run all over the place to know what exactly comes out for the paper. So far, I've scored the topics for SEQ and a single theme for SBQ. I'm a doll, I know.

Wafer fabrication chips sound like grand sophistication and random conversations on WFCs will be held tomorrow with prestigious people.

God, I hate petty people.

Royal Treatment.

2006-09-26T19:05:00.000+08:00

I AM TEH FUSTRATED.

... AND THEN, there was one.

Sometimes, people dissapoint you. Everytime I make a new friend that seems like the greatest person in the world, I have a fear that lingers around. I hated to address the fear because it was the bitter truth and it would come crashing down sooner or later. But I learnt to accept it and I've noticed (unfortunately) that I'm not as friendly as I used to be.

I don't like to open up as much because I'm insecure and I care a hell lot about what other people think about me. I don't like to be seen as the bimbotic or overly-spontaneous fat girl because alot of the stuff I do around my closest friends are rarely close to sane and downright silly. I don't see how people can hurt me as much if I appear cold and cynical.

First impressions seldom last, especially when you get to know the person better. Everytime I meet someone new that I really enjoy his/her company, I'd think, man! This person's awesome. We're clicking, we're laughing and we're gonna be great friends.

On the contary. I know there will be one point of time when I will find him/her annoying, dull, unpleasant, untoleratable or simply plain NASTY and I'd distance myself from him/her. Maybe they'll forget me. And I'll learn to do so as well. Maybe.

The sadness would hurt, because when I opened up so much - this person - this one person whom I had so much trust in, let me down. It doesn't matter how. They just do. They will have to, because life isn't a straight line. But you know, what hurts the most is what the other person have come to think of me.

And frankly speaking, sometimes I really don't have the mental strenght to pick up the broken pieces and try to mend it. I'm lazy by nature, and if it's not worth it, I'd rather not try.

I don't know if this entry has anything to do with Pris's & Clifton's conflict, or what Haziqah has told me this afternoon but whatever it is, I've seen plenty of good friendships die and it's as good as burning a thousand folds of origami.

I'm going to, you know, play with photoshop now. If, you know, that's ok with you.

Tootsie rolls.

2006-09-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

When you have completed what you thought you had to do
And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue
Then you'll get along.
- Steady as she goes, The Raconteurs.

I was so hooked onto this song that I sent a dedication to Power 98 going out to some random boyfriend just to hear the song. Then I typed the song title into my minutes and forgot to delete it and it got printed out and well, it was just plain hilarious.

Went out with Maria again on Friday and decided to pull off crazy shit to see if we could get away with it. Well, I did. She didn't. Went to town and back by means of bus. My mother wanted me to get her nasi sambal goreng so by the time we reached Causeway Point, I was halfway broke and the shops had run out of the sambal goreng.

Banquet didn't sell NSG so we ran to some random hawker center and they were out too. Ran to another eating house and it was all chinese food. Then sprinted to triple 8 in record time and bought the rice.

I swear, we'd be marathon runners if we did this every time we went out.

/cough, John!

Amazing race.

2006-09-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

Today was like, so totally shitteh! Mr Goh was being like, this total bitch and he was like screaming at us and all. Like, oh my god! I know, right? I came to school like, 10 mins late and when I walked past him with Syima & Nadirah he was like, "am I transparent?" Like, WHATEVUUUUR, Mr. I'msoangryI'llscoldyouinfrontofaclassPeado! He was sooooo petty he sent us to sit in the parade square and I must have like, ruined my tan or something in the sun!

The meeting 'started' with everyone writing those stupid things - you know, the ones where you think back on all the stuff you did, rate yourself, and all that shit. But it didn't stop there! Oh gawd, no! He went all PMS & sent me home to get the cash book to update him, that - that - ARGH!

And George, the poor boy! Like, to be totally honest, I like George and now, I feel totally guilty about confessing his inability to be the vice-president. Well, I was pretty much irritated so you soooo cannot blame me! I mean, like, hello! Saturday morning, people! I should be like, in bed, catching up on my beeeeeeauty sleep! And that bitch was being a real bitch too! Like, I don't know what her problem was, but she obviously has issues!

Like, people nowadays are like soooo superficial, y'know?

Will you do the fandango?

2006-09-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

Maths would be the death of me. Sine, much?

Met up with Moses today, so he could explain in layman terms what the rules were all about. He's a smart one, that boy. Bearings are bitches, they lie and decieve - don't make friends with them.

Ms Huda was giving a verbal lashing to the netballers today. Apparently, she wasn't too happy about our piorities. We had to choose between the Student Council/remedial and CCA. And as she went on, it striked me, that I was late for my exco meeting. Oh, the irony.

Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

2006-09-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

PIE. PIE. PIE.
But hey, if you can dance, you won't have to jaywalk at all.

/dance.

I've been holding in my pee for the last half an hour. Welcome to my world.

I've come to a brilliant conclusion. So brilliant - the light hurts my eyes. The answer to all your emotional crisis is tweezers. Ladies and gentlemen, Jesus can't protect you forever.

Why cut your wrists and leave rotten scars when you can have pretty, hairless arms and, the pain factor is probably the same.

Probably.

Easy come, easy go.

2006-09-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

It was fun while it lasted. Real fun. The song Bohemian Rhapsody is stuck in my head and I'm in a soap mood. Eh, Maria? Yeah, it's no use cause your internet's dead.

And, a prophet saved me yesterday. (!)

Irony!

2006-09-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

THE IRONY
OH THE FUCKING IRONY IS KILLING ME!

KILLING ME, I TELL YA!

[EDIT\]
-SINGS-
WE'RE LINKED
WE'RE ALL LINKED!
IN THIS MAD SOCIAL CIRCLE!

Proved my own point when bloghopping too - (!!)
One day, my right hand here is going to cross paths with the hand of another and as words go -
"Wth! She's your friend whose the classmate of my best friend's church friend!"
Actually -looks down and grins- that's the link I'm referring too.
NO SHIT, RIGHT? :D
[/EDITED]

-DOES THE EVOLUTION OF DANCE-
Yay, Sakinah HAPPYBILATEDBIRTHDAY!

I kid! I kid!

2006-09-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

OMFGWTFBBQYAYNESSINAPIE!
I'm so happy I could rhyme!
I've never quite felt like this in a long time!
Cause I'm so happy I could flyyyy!

I'm so happy, I am, I am!
I'm so hyper, I ran, I sang!
So delirious, you know, you know!

Kudos, kudos! To Shahidah!
1. For putting up with my crap all day!
2. For coming up with the statement!
"Everything in Wahidah's world is naked." (!)

Oh boy, oh boy!
The world seems right and Bush ain't gay!
Let's all stand up and shout HURRAY!

:D

Vogue.

2006-09-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

Alas, my skin has betrayed me and I'm peeling like a molting mealworm. Fucking sunburns. Now there's white patches all over my arms. Damn sph 50++ sunblock, you lied, baaaaastard.

And when I thought it couldn't get worst, I finally met Moses. Lo and behold, the boy behind the great name and sexy voice, comes a five foot walking stick. Met his ~~ugly~~ friend, Frank too. Damn you, Maria for having braces that attract losers.

We played badminton. Amatuer-style D:

God, it's almost Sunday. This sucks.

If you tag on my board:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours.

Cliff.
1. I bet you look good on the dance floor.
2. Ask that crush of yours out :D
3. Yellow.
4. Your smile.
5. Omgnewguy.
6. Kangaroo.
7. Can I have your camera?

Dee.
1. I want to be standing at the beginning with you (:
2. Let's meet up again in 10 years for the 21-day OBS course :D
3. Tan.
4. Your eyes!
5. Shit. She has allies, already.
6. Teddy bear?
7. Where's ponco number 15?!

Pris.
1. I'm terrible sorry Paul's died.
2. Go skinny-dipping!
3. You ooze pink.
4. How you're always able to cheer me up (:
5. She doesn't bathe in the morning, omg.
6. A unicock. Or peacorn. LOL.
7. Will I go to heaven?

Rai.
1. I still love you despite what I say down there :D
2. Piss in your pants.
3. Olive.
4. Your nice-ness.
5. Fuck, she's annoying.
6. Hamster.
7. Are boobs made of cotton?

Sak.
1. You're way too skinny & tall for your own good.
2. Be Shu Yi's best friend for a day!
3. Grey.
4. Your big sister-ness.
5. Stupid tall, skinny, athletic, popular student councillor ):
6. An anorexic brachiosaurus.
7. Do you ever get horny?

Pei Shan.
1. Tell me who it is, damn it!
2. Run a marathon!
3. Purple.
4. How you can converse about anything & everything.
5. Bitchbitchbitchbitch :D
6. Parrot.
7. Who is she?

Shaf.
1. I need to read your blog more often :D
2. Don't eat bbq stingrays for a year ... or so.
3. Brown.
4. Your realistic-ness.
5. -grins- third stranger to comment on my pictures!
6. Horse.
7. Are you really seventeen?

Sab.
1. OMGWTFBBQ!
2. Watch gay porn with two of your male friends.
3. Violet.
4. Your maturity.
5. Heeeeeeeeeey.
6. A ... chicken. ROFL.
7. Does Santa exist?

Maria. [Yeah, you didn't tag but I thought it'd be fun to do you. Hell, that sounded wrong D:]
1. Calvin won, arsewers!
2. Go on a one night stand with Gabriel.
3. Maroon.
4. The ability to joke openly about sex and masturbation.
5. Omghahaomghahahahaomg she can make funny plastic jokes!
6. A liger. A cross between a lion and a tiger. It's bred for it's magical skills, what do you think.
7. What was that?! Whaaat? Whaaaaaaat?!

Fag. It's officially Sunday. And believe it or not, I'm still in the OBS mood. I just framed up the group photo and I have a strong urge to sit with 15 other people and cut the chicken with a jack knife. HAHA, private joke.

And then, I found Nathan's friendster profile. Apparently, he misses Singapore like hell & would do anything to come back. Heck, I miss that little pain in the butt as well. -wails- where did all the years gooooooo?

Great. Now I have no plans today since Maria just cancelled on me 5 minutes ago. What. The. Fuck.

Now I've got gas.

Feckin' shit.

2006-09-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

Life is lewd when Maria is horny.

The day seemed ... obnoxious today, passing fast and tirelessly. In no chronological order, the story unfolds like a tissue paper used to wipe up ... stuff. HAHA. (Fuck, that was lame. But amusing. When. You. Don't. Think. Straight.) HO.

We dropped by Candy Empire and I got a tube of cherry goo. I swear, that thing makes you high. Even the packaging looks like vodka shots. Or toothpaste. Red toothpaste. Mmm.

Busted a gut or two on the way to the Esplanade roof, giggling at the stupidity of losers and whatever else we could point and laugh at. Watched a melodramatic break-up of a couple, had lunch at Yoshinoya and rolled their damn Spudsters into soft balls of mashed potatoes.

Saw Ben Liu, Sheng Rong & Pei Xian on the train but were too lazy to acknowledge them cause Clifton wasn't there (HEY, CLIFF!) so we sat there in suppressed hysteria. Ehehhehehhhhh.

Like I said, Maria was horny and with the help of that cherry goo, we entered this weird twilight zone between hyper and lethargic. I, saw flying bananas, ladies and gentlemen. (!)

We even bet on who had a sexier voice - Moses or Calvin. (Yeah, Caaaaaalvin.) Turned out both of them were busy doing stuff and they starting yelling into the phone and neither of them sounded very ... good. Woah, I can hear Pris stifle her laughter. Woaaaaah. And Karen, and Humaira, and Doris, and Aisyah, and Xin Hui.

Vah. Remedial and Johor tomorrow D:

Maria's lazier to argue than to walk.
HAHAHAHHEEHHAHEHAHAHAHEHA.

Outward Bound Singapore.

2006-09-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

oneoftheguys: Did you saw a wildbore?
Subeer: You mean 'see'?
oneoftheguys: Oh yeh. See.
Calvin: Heh, why the hell would you want to saw a wildbore?

LMAO.

Speaking of Calvin, I'm so proud of him. He's gotten more out of this camp than what he bargained for. And, I've seen him a side of him he never really showed. The camp itself was brilliant. I did things I didn't think my body could handle. I went through situations I didn't think I'd face, and mostly, I met friends I didn't think I'd cherish.

The word 'bonded' is an understatement to describe Elizabeth Choy.

And I've always wanted to own one of these.

- courtesy of Dee/Irshad.

2006-09-01T18:58:00.000+08:00

CHOY.

OBS rocked balls.

Bam.

2006-08-27T10:33:00.000+08:00

I feel hungry.
Like I haven't been fed enough.
Wandered into the kitchen just moments ago.
And nothing looked appealing or appetizing to eat.

I'm still hungry, though.

I feel like I'm pressed for time.
Like there's so many things I need to do.
But, there's just so little time to complete everything.
It's a familliar feeling, sweeping me into this inevitable pool of gloom.

It's suffocating.

---

It's never occured to me that the music could get so upbeat. So fast that you'd be whisked to the dancefloor in a heartbeat dancing with so many people you don't know. Strangers swaying, holding, but this seems to be perfectly normal.

Your very own partner stands at the side, lone. Watching, diminishing into the distance. It's blurry because you're moving - fast. Turning, spinning, music humming and dislodging thoughts and emotions into meaningless movements.

The lights are wild, flashing into bright, nameless, colors. You feel a whole new high as the music blows into a chorus, and your heart is pounding, by itself or by the impact of the thundering speakers, you don't know. All you can recognize is the blood rushing and the excitement surging.

It's that other factor too, the one that heats you up, the toxicity of the drinks takes its toll on you as well. It's all seeping into your system and as your eyesight turns into a glassy mystique, you wonder if this would end. It's a beatiful oblivion, pretty, slender things appearing here and there, only to disappear the next moment.

It's like slipping into a dark, velvety dream.

Bites.

2006-08-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

"Congratulations, you two! You've made sex talk boring!"
- Dino Whitman.

I'm starting to watch Life As We Know It more often now, since my anti-drug, Scrubs, has mysteriously disappered from my Thursday nights.

And I'm feeling quite sorry for myself, knowing that I have two essays [no, compositions are so primary school] to write & hand in by tomorrow. Oh god forbids, I like Mdm Arfah but as far as her lessons & assignments go, they just don't cut it.

I started on the first essay but apparently, Aisyah claims it to be what seems like a 'sex story' & I don't want to give no one no damn impressions [especially with all the illeberal people fogging the school] so I have to rewrite D:

Oh, we won today's debate against Christ Church Secondary - like Kermit the frog finds joy in singing :D

I just fell in love with Orson's acoustic version of No Tomorrow. Jason Pebworth is officially the sexiest man alive. It saddens [more like irritates] me that only a few of the truly observant & talent-worthy knows of Orson.

I need a new camera.
And braces.
-nudges Pei Shan-

Fine whining.

2006-08-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, your honor! As you can see, she's caused the world pain, and suffering. She's burnt trees in the Amazon rainforest, snatched food away from starving children in Africa, and help scheme malicious plots with President George W. Bush! It is no doubt, that by the year 2067, her egomaniacal thoughts and inconsiderate actions will be the end of us all!

Objection! My client has never even been near the Amazon Rainforest, or Africa, or America for that matter!

Objection overruled! The defendant's mere presence has proven her guilt! !Xombli! Escort this incorrigible criminal out of my sight and into the maggot-infested dungeons! THEN IT'S OFF WITH HER HEAD!

I hone alcohol.

Yeah.

The reason.

2006-08-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

Ignorance is bliss.
Somewhat strikes a note.

Because what you don't know can't hurt you.

This wave of idiocy.

2006-08-15T19:35:00.000+08:00

Hello(:

Amidst this sudden sweetness, I've only got a sad tale of hostile friendship. If you could even label it that.

You know, I don't know how you'd define a friendship, but I'd say it's all pretty much believable bullshit thrown into all that spice and laughter and good times. But what happens if the bad overrides the good?

A friend is a friend is a friend. It's a fact, it's justified with conversation and acknowledgment. I have a million friends. I say hi to people I know in school, smile teasingly at those who share a private joke, and occasionally, a nice, good hug from these people.

Fine. That's a friend.

What about a good friend? It's so much more complicated when we see another as a better friend than the rest of the mass. Because this has to be accepted by the other as well, very much like how all relationships start in the first place.

And if to tell you frankly, all that stuff people like to rant and whine about - it's all true. Good friends don't backstab. They don't smile and chuckle in your face and draw a sashimi sword out of your back the next moment. Sometimes, it baffles me how they could even snap in your face and you'd just shrug it off as PMS. I mean, it's just tolerating, right? After all, that's what friends do. They tolerate their incorrigible flaws. Even if it means shutting up after a rude comment.

And it's not even these careless mouth-offs that irks me at the very sight of you. It's how you crave attention, in any way possible. You scrape emphaty off the floor with your whining and groaning about being fat, and how you use safety pins to slit your damn wrists.

If it's a personal hurtle at me whenever you go "awwwwwwww, I'm fat" whenever I'm around, you're doing a good job of it and getting away with it, you vain piece of shit. And if you're going to be psychotic and start using a fork to slit your wrists, please have some decency and do it properly. Don't go tarnishing the name of the people who have a real nuerosis problem.

And stop hiding behind a veil of sardonic remarks, dipshit.

I've been getting them alot lately from you, you, you. I wonder why I've restrained from slapping your face and telling you that if you're going to be a petty little bitch, please, take this knife from my back and allow me to really, slit you to death.

Then with one last gasping breath, you can apologize for bleeding on my shirt.

Honestly, Nnesah.

Teh meme post.

2006-08-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

Memes are fun. Count on me to fill one up. Like all the other bored people have before me. This first one is from Sak. The rest, I stole shamelessly from random blogs. Fell free to fill them out yourself when the term 'dying of boredome' floats your way.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4. And there you have it.

How am I feeling today?
Five For Fighting - Superman. [Awh, no fucking way.]

Will I get far in life?
Sugercult - Stuck In America.

How do my friends see me?
The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army.

Where will I get married?
U2 - Vertigo.

What is my best friend's theme song?
Hawk Nelson - Every Little Thing.

What is the story of my life?
Sugarcult - Bouncing Off The Walls Again.

What is/was high school like?
System Of A Down - Toxicity. [ROTFLMAO]

How can I get ahead in life?
Sugarcult - Counting Stars.

What is the best thing about me?
Orson - Saving The World. [I know, right?]

What is today going to be like?
Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me.

What is in store for this weekend?
The Subways - Rock & Roll Queen.

What song describes my parent(s)?
Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies. [Lawl, ya think?]

To describe my grandparents?
Taking Back Sunday - You Are So Last Summer. -dies laughing-

How is my life going?
Fall Out Boy -Dance Dance.

How does the world see me?
Brand New - Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die.

Will I have a happy life?
Breaking Benjamin - Sooner Or Later. [Spoken like a true optimist.]

What do my friends really think of me?
Rooney - I'm Shakin'. -air guitars-

Do people secretly lust after me?
New Found Glory - Time After Time. [OHMYGAWD, I'm loved.]

How can I make myself happy?
Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The E.

What should I do with my life?
Rise Agaisnt - Give It All.

Will I ever have children?
Orson - Bright Idea. [Sure it is.]

Honestly. Memes are fun.

Current Mood: Jaded.
Current Taste: Nauseating taste of expired butter from yesterday's cookies.
Current Clothes: A blue shirt with faded prints and floral shorts.
Current Desktop: A jaded-looking figurine with an oversized head biting it's heart out.
Current Toenail Color: It's pink. With a dab of dried, brown blood at the corner of my biggest toe.
Current Time: 11.44pm.
Current Surroundings: Everything that's anything.
Current Annoyances: Heat, tomorrow's papers, stomach, Barney, dried blood on toe, time.
Current Thoughts: Meleeleleeeeeejklsadmqoked.

I mean it, they are. Do one. Feel that? That's a whole new high, baby.

First Best Friends: Sarah Natasha & Adeline Lo.
First Crush: Samuel.
First Movie: Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs.
First Lie: I forgot.
First Music: Sesame Street's theme song.

Bet this would keep Pei Shan going. On. And on.

Last Cigarette: Never smoked in my life.
Last Drink: Prune Juice, out of the bottle, out of the fridge.
Last Car Ride: A ride to Orchard in my uncle's BMW.
Last Crush: Make that third last crush - Aidil.
Last Movie: Racing Stripes.
Last Phone Call: Maria. But her phone's dead, so.
Last CD played: OrsonOrsonOrsonOrsonOrson's Bright Idea.
Last song played: Orson - Downtown.

Considering that I'm in the middle of cramming for tomorrow's papers, I'd conclude that now's a pretty bad timing for these memes. Nevertheless, pretty.

Have you ever dated one of your best friend: You could say that.
Have you ever broken the law: Yeah.
Have you ever been arrested: No.
Have you ever skinny-dipped: No.
Have you ever been on TV: Yuh.
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: No.

I don't know why they call them memes. How do you even pronounce that. Meemees, or meymehs.

5 things you're wearing: Who the fuck wears five pieces of clothing when they're in the house.
4 things you've done today: Scrutinized my humanities textbooks, danced to Orson music, edited the Teens Forum II pictures, looked for my bloody flexible curve.
3 things you can hear right now: The song 'No Tomorrow' by Orson drowns out everything else - oh wait, there's the roaring of a bus somewhere down there.
1 thing you do when you're bored: Stupid memes like these.

I'm suffering from that insecurity problem again. When the world scares me by peeking into my inner life and perturbs my feelings inside-out. It's not like it's literally happened, but I have a feeling it's going to.

I'm going to take some guy by the name of Moses [I so know, right? Oh, holy one, what a fucking brilliant name.] advice - that we should socialize more. Widen our circles, because people are linked and inter-related to each other. I fucking concur. Bring it on, world, for I am Wahidah BAW, and it's a going to be pleasure meeting you.

Bright Idea.

2006-08-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

I GOT THE ORSON CD

Well, shoot me in the toe for my music taste but they're probably the only band whose CD I bought & enjoy every single song that's on the damned album. It's rare, things like these. It's like how Pris goes crazy for Fall Out Boy. And Aisyah, Taking Back Sunday. And Nnesah ... Sham ... mir ... something. Get the picture, don't you.

I love how the singer drawls. He's got a you-know-I-know-something-hot kind of thing going on and the lyrics are absofuckehlutely fabulous.

I know you're undercover
But I want you under the covers.

Sunday mornings are sugary lies.

2006-08-06T08:26:00.000+08:00

Oh god. It's 8.30 on a Sunday morning and I smell like yesterday's sweat. I feel liberated cause' the day's still fresh and there's a thousand things I always wanted to do on mornings like these that I never got waking up to.

I feel sort of happy too. This week only amounts to two schooling days, which compared to last week, is such a breather. The last two weeks were like a small five inch container, filled to the brim with cream puffs. Some greedy idiot tries to cram fourteen more puffs and everything ends up mashed up against each other and it's an ugly mess.

Ah please, I'm still an angsty teenager with raging hormones and an unstable neurosis. Pardon my whining, sweetheart, I feel chirpier already.

Slow Dance.

2006-08-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

I got an email from an old friend a few weeks back. It was a chain mail, but this one differed from the others and it meant so much.

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Boo, hoo.

2006-08-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

OHMAHGAWD, PEISHAN! :x

---

El eh tee ee ar this week.

2006-07-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

Do I really need a reason?
Is it really such a big deal?
It just seems like the right situation
To say how I really feel.

All that happens is happiness.
- Happiness, Orson.

Omfg, I enjoy debating. I actully do. I can't fucking believe it. And all this time I thought it was a nerve-wrecking waste of time. For a first-timer, I'd say I was ... pretty good. Pretty, good. Third speaker, third speaker! You know.

We went against Yishun Town and lost by half a fucking mark. They should have died. Died stammering to their graves too. On the bright side, we took Andy's car which was real convenient and I'd bet a thousand girls would have paid me plenty to sit beside Andy.

And Zhareena is ... smart. Much as I hate to admit it, she is awesome at coming up with rebuttals to counter our goddamn opponents.

---

Saturday was the break I needed from a whole month of shitnips. Went to town [mainly Esplanade] with Humaira and had a blast. The tension was gone and it was replaced by genuine laughter. Not the type you fake to cover up the awkwardness but the type you really let out because it feels like the most righteous thing to do.

And, and, there was a matfest. The Esplanade roof was crawling with losers. But hey, a trip's no fun without people to make fun off, right?

---

Friday's BazaarMania! was tiring. Claiming that I had fun would be a lie. The only fun I had was during the prize presentation, what with Pei Shan, Pei Yu & me screaming and clapping for all it was worth each time our class got called up. Four pretty awards, and if god forbid - we came in second for best booth decoration.

Cue for everyone to go, 'what the fuck?', please. It's not a bad thing, but I still think it's rather odd, considering the fact that we didn't have colorful eggtrays, or huge, red banners suffocating the already crammed place.

And, and, the test tube idea was fantastic. It's like, a little color in science lab apparatus fascinates the hell out of people. I thank, thank, thank people like Lester :D Hazura, Sakinah & my sweet, sweet juniors who evidently supported our booths by recommending or buying up to two/three pitas.

The class tees, were absofuckingly awesome. I can't be bothered to put a picture up because most of you have seen it, in inks of gold and red.

Woot! for this brilliant class spirit of ours. Mindfuckingly, brilliant.

- courtesy of Doris.

And if you say, this life ain't good enough.

2006-07-27T17:31:00.000+08:00

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your Livejournal (or blog) along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to in absolute random order.

1. Bright Idea - Orson
2. When The Sun Goes Down - Arctic Monkeys
3. Summer Skin - Death Cab For Cutie
4. Sic Transit Gloria ... Glory Fades - Brand New
5. Bittersweet - Fuel
6. Rock & Roll Queen - The Subways
7. Smooth - Santana feat. Rob Thomas

Tagged:
Whoever's.
Interested.

Wahidah is currently emo, lah. She was just fine before she got caught in the rain and her socksbooksbagshoeshairbraunderwear got drenched and now they're all wet and ugly-looking, sagging like a pair of worn-out tits. It's like those weird lunar month mood swing things.

She's not geared-up for tomorrow's BazaarMania! and wishes that she would stop getting blisters. The fucking things keep coming with loads of sticky ooze. She's peeled off enough dead skin to sell off as fertilizers.

She realizes that she's in an unorganized mess of homework dued a month ago, unattended CCAs, unburnt fat, unsent minutes, and tests that won't stop coming.

She's so goddamnned emo, she'll gladly sit in the rain, screaming out the lyrics of 'She Will Be Loved' by Maroon Five and scare away the little fuckers from Greenwood Primary.

She's just so sad that she's been reduced to a weird loser who speaks of herself in the third person and drinks Sarsaparilla in the afternoon. Come, let us embrace this melancholy day and pray that the school burns down tomorrow.

Amen.

Bisexuality.

2006-07-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

... Or do you?

Tad.

2006-07-24T20:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was lovely. Note the formality, absolutely lovely. The lot of us crashed Mil's place for fun - and it really was, fun. So that's SueCamHueZueMilAisyahme! all mashed together into an awesome concoction of camwhoring, pizza-indulging, sausage-rolling madness.

Though my mother got the paranoia bug and I started dragging my friends into my lies, everything turned out alright. Cam had to voice as a parent and Humaira freaked out when she too, caught the paranoia bug, thinking my mother would rave to her mother that her daughter was watching M18 movies and skipping class.

...... On a lighter note :D we played Detective & Murderer - which was absofuckingly hilarious. It was the winking and eyebrow-raising game, which I thought was rather kinky and well, the suspicious glances and cheeky looks from everyone drove me into fits of laughter.

Yayness!, much?

Oh my god, I'm doing third speaker for debate next Monday.
Charming.

And I'm going for Outward Bound this year - which clashes with BYD & Teacher's Day AND, two thirds of my friends are reserved for reserves ...
Mindfuckingly CHARMING.

Apparently a new CCA has shot up, a publication team.
Interested, I am.
CCA points, I want.
Potential team mates, I mind not.
Happy, very.

All this, is so very comical.
I'm going to write about the Student Council soon, but read Sakinah's blog for an insight first.

It's not love, it's honey stars.

2006-07-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wanted something, but know that when you actually achieve it, it will never feel like an accomplishment?

I have, I have, I have.

It's there. It is. It's close too. Too close for comfort. It's been so near me, and whenever I lean in, I stop myself, pulling myself back reluctantly. It's that ironic so near yet so far nagging at me. I've said things that may only sound like I'm only playing but I really do mean it.

I do, I do, I do, godammit.

Hoho, it's so damned unglamarous to be infactuated. The whole I wanna touch you but I can't cause this is lust screaming not love nor like, and I wanna be with you twenty four seven but thing is, when we're not making out, we can't talk about anything because there's this awkward wreck some like to call relationship or if you don't want to go so deep we can always refer to it as a friendship - yeah, it's all there, screwing up the already unstable mentality of mine.

I laugh at myself for all the times I've ever thought I was in love, and I laugh at everyone else who think they are. I laugh. I laugh, I laugh, and when I stop, I see this hot object waving at me, and I think to myself, what the fuck? This definately isn't love.

Slap.
It's wrong, Wahidah.
Slap.
How could you?

It's beautiful, how I manage to conceal this madness. Well, not entirely. I've let slipped to two people. Two very trustworthy people, I pray. One can do no harm, and the other, well, she's filled with too much Idon'tgiveafuckingdamn to do any harm.

Can I say I love you?

YAYFORSUDOKU!

2006-07-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

Though it was last Tuesday, the victory still pleases me. My team mates were Xin Hui, Andy & Shawn. All rather smart logicians. We truimped over Green house [very surprisingly] & managed to top first place -throws confetti-

Two more rounds in the next two weeks, ~~I plan to sneak a look at Ezrynn's book of answers~~ I plan to practice more with the onlines ones.

SOUGHT!

I FEEL LIKE I'M SAVING THE WORLD.

2006-07-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

Doesn't Superman tire from saving damsels in distress and his job as a ... news reporter? If I am not mistaken. Who am I kidding? He's got super strenght & I've got super ... babat.

Goddamn, I'm so tired. I've got three tests tomorrow.

Three.
Three.
Three.

My day was so packed today - I only ate a single cheese sausage with a puddle of mashed potatoes. I could really get used to this.

[/edit]

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING FACK YEH! IN SOME POOR SOD'S FACE -
LETMELETMELETMELETMELETMELETMELETME, PLEASE?
I PROMISE I'LL RUN REEEEEEAL FAST AFTER
AND WORST COME TO WORST -
I'LL PLAY DEAD AAAAND
ROLL OVER!
kacha!

The roll over thing's a private joke between me & Olivia :D

DELIRIUMdeliriumDELIRIUMdelirium TAKING OVER, MUCH?
I SWEAR PEOPLE ARE UGLY.

Mahdi from Riverside's debate team walks out with a blue book, held with such care. What's that? I wonder. THAT A BIBLE?! I say excitedly, expecting the girl beside me to get the damn joke. She remains silent & I feel like shaking her - LAUGH, WOMAN, LAUGH!

HEEHEEHEE. CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

[/editsDONE!]

I'm so tired, I fall asleep on the way to the toilet.

2006-07-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

I finally got my internet connection back & working, after three days of prehistoric technology. My radio had internal gas, my mom wouldn't allow me to bring my laptop into my room, so I had to survive on minimal ranged music from my free HP speaker, which was connected to my cheap MP3. I was better off listening to the mating calls of crickets.

This week seems to be jam-packed with activities.
Class tees, debate, racial harmony.
I swear, today was one bad trip turned good.
Nnesah attracts the wrong crowd and Cameo is crude.
Proper entry on Friday, or so.
Picture-taking tomorrow!

I like house music, as Aisyah has referred to it as. It's not hip-hop, nor rock, nor jazz, nor country. Very much the type of music you want to get up and dance to, because it makes you feel high and breezy. I love the way it convinces me that I can grab everything by the balls and run away laughing into beds of roses. Music really, is the only thing that keeps my [soul] alive.

"When I'm dancing with you
Tomorrow doesn't matter
Turn that music up
Till the windows start to shatter
Cause you're the only one
Who can get me on my feet and
I can't even dance."
- No tomorrow, Orson.

Cumquat.

2006-07-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

For once, I have to share Ashre's view on blogging. He deems it stupid and a waste of time. I don't, I just think that a blog is an online diary. I mean, think about it. It's a bloody oxymoron, isn't it?

Online. Means in some way, someone is bound to get your url, whether you've handed it out on pamplets or simply kept it to yourself. The web is an open field with no fences or barriers, cept' for passwords, which by now, people like Xinhui & Jiajia would know how to overcome them. Even if you've made your url unaccessable, or have just randomly jammed letters on your keyboard - some smart arses are going to find out, sooner or later. I don't suppose getting to anyone's blog would be a problem. Cause, it's so ... open.

Diary. Fill it with rants, secrets, gossip, feelings - it's a personal item meant to be seen with your own eyes only. Entries on it are meant for yourself, for you to look back to laugh, smile, chuckle, giggle at how your childhood was like. You should know by now that reading about the life and times of XXX is as boring as watching the grass grow. Only you will understand & remember the emotions you went through in your own life. That's what a diary is. It's supposed to be ... closed.

Blogging should be added to the book of oxymorons, if any.

And, and, guess what? I still love to blog. CUMQUAT!

---

I have a mysterious piercing on my lap. I poked a safety pin through one end and it slid right out the other end. Who needs multiple piercings on your ears making you look like tribal sacrifices when you've got one sexy piercing on your lap?

I'm just afraid that it'll close, now that I'm poking it with stuff.

I rest my case up there and state my point exactly. Cumquat.

SUDOKU DRIVES ME CRAZY D:

2006-07-15T01:34:00.000+08:00

...

Bleah.

2006-07-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

I'm too bored for my own good. Played around with some picture edits. And I want a 4.0 megapixel cam. Why not?

I've got to start labelling my photos with my url, or something.

Low.

2006-07-13T01:01:00.000+08:00

He whispers that he loves her
But she's probably only looking for...

Sic Transit Gloria is officially my current favorite song, as of now. Whispers of sweet, slurry nothings, much? Grow up, you illiberal loser. Aiman.

- Funeral gathering tomorrow. I quote my mother [my darling, darling mother], "This is a family event, you can't not go. At least do this for Zul. Even some of his friends have come to send their condolences."

I know I'm selfish. I know, I know.
But alright, I'll do this for Zul, since we got along so well at the picnic.

Rest.

2006-07-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

My uncle just passed away today. Strangely, I don't feel overwhelmed by sadness. In fact, to be completely honest, I never liked him. He was crude and sacarstic, to his wife, to his kids, to me. Lung cancer, they say. Retribution, I say. You don't go around messing with other people and their feelings and live for long. Either God or murder gets to you first.

But the idea of death scares me though. The thought of being able to speak to him just a few months ago, when he was [looking] well and healthy, cigarette in a hand, cup of tea in the other, bossing around the son to get the guests fresh napkins.

And now ... he's dead.

I had a picnic with his family two weeks ago, sans him, of course. He was in the hospital, and like every sick case, I thought he was going to get better. Shocked I was, when my brother came up to me this afternoon crying out repeatedly, "Zul's father die already!".

And he's only in his early fifties.

It's just ... intriguing how I won't be able to communicate with him anymore. I can't even look at him and expect him to react. Because a dead man is a dead man is a dead man. It's not like I miss his presence or anything, but he was just another pebble in my boot. I do apologize for my lack of respect. But I can tell you I'm not the only one whose not heavily pained by his death.

The only people I do feel for is the wife and kids. My aunt's a housewife and my cousins are all young adults. One's married, one's in Secondary School, and the last's still in Primary School. Really ...

I daresay the funeral's going to be an awkward one. The family to be treated with sympathy and the careful condolences, of course ...

English and grammar, grammar and English?

2006-07-11T02:15:00.000+08:00

I am dying/laughing out of irritation/mockery right now. I can't stand or sit or tolerate the very presence of people who act all that. And they aren't, even all that.

I think it's a fad right now, for young people to spice up thier blogs with intimate vocabulary. And it's not even thier own words, what say I'd bet ya five that most of them were taken out of a thesaurus? I'd win a fiver and more.

So I'm contradicting myself. I've used my share of arcane words. But I know these words. I use them in my compositions and private entries. And, I know how to use them in a sentence. You don't go, 'I've plenty of lucre today'. That would be downright stupid, yes, stewpeed, with a capital S.

And what really gets me is that these people can't even get thier grammar right. I'd understand the Singlish slang alright, but these berks can hardly use their yours and you'res in the correct prepositions and they're going over their heads with words like dubious and disencumbering?

I mean, fix your purals, singulars and past tenses before whoaing us with your extraordinary words, you self-absorbed gits. If you had good grammar, you'd probably get away with passing off as someone with superb English. But who are you kidding? You can't string together a sentence that makes you look like a total wannabe.

Thing is, I can't even mention who I'm annoyed at because she's an awfully good friend of mine! I mean, -wipes tears away- the irony is killing me!

/teenage rant's over. Gah.

We get by just fine on minimum wage.

2006-07-09T23:10:00.000+08:00

I want to drink my life away, please.
I also want to fuck someone really badly.
Let's see if you can read between the lines.
Well, aren't you smart to have figured it out?
Cause I seriousy doubt she'll be any sexier than she already is ...
with a navel piercing?
No way, right?
Shit, she's getting to me.
I find it hilarious that 97% of the masses who read this won't get it.
Because I'm really in lust with someone ...
... like Aisyah.

I'd congratulate you if you did find out, though. Tell me and I might let you in on a little more.

Snort.

2006-07-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Goddamn, I'm down with fever again.
So much for recovery.
Delirium leads me on.
I am so in lust.
With some.
One.

Jealous?

Pshaw!

2006-07-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

Days when I feel like this, it's rare. Between the raging hormones and balding teachers, there's always a day that convinces the choosen ones that not all hope is lost.

Wouldn't you agree?

Day started off with me hailing a cab, easy one too. Reached five minutes before the bell rang, and exactly five minutes later, it poured down like God had some dirty laundry to take care off. It was a brilliant start.

Panadol & watermelon pills did wonders for me and my throat. Wonders.

There was an hour to go before the cooking competition rehearsal so I sat down with Pris & Shahidah. Funneh. Real, FUNNEH. Calvin was our humor-man for the afternoon, wanking himself and laughing for no particular reason. Good times.

Oh, the cooking rehearsal. Sounds a tab bit weird, doesn't it? I'll say. There were five teams of five, each cooking up four ethnic dishes. That's two hours of flour-mixing, deep-frying, egg-dipping & yam-cutting ... & I really had fun. Honest! The elaboration's really bland but when Zue & Atiqah update their versions, you can be sure their entries are as detailed as your fingerprints.

I was pretty tired after that. But blogs don't create themselves into information sites overnight. So two girls followed me home to complete the damn project. Funness, lah. Not the project, the other ... thingies ... we ... did. I'm too tired to dwell into the depths of this ... funness. Gah, my English's coming apart D:

I'll let the pictures do the talking -

This is me, before hair stylist extrodinairs Humaira & Rai came in.

This, is for Priscilla, or, Mrs Twohill. I am not emoooo. I eat faaaaags.

The hair, the stylist.

ROTFLMAO.

Easy as ABC.

2006-07-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

I have one nasty case of sore throat;
Been grounded for two weeks;
And three very raw blisters have implanted themselves on my foot.

I had a major fight with my mother on Sunday, and ran away. I went to Maria's place, tear-streaked & all, & stayed there till 3am, only coming home in a cab when my mother managed to coax/threaten me to return home or else.

We haven't talked much till now. Not that we did before this happened, but now there's this electrical barrier between me and her.

---

And, and, have you seen Paris Hilton's new music video? ROTFLMAO. She can't serenade anyone, for fuck's sake. She's just tossing her hair all over the place and rolling around in the sand.

And the song, don't get me started on the song.
... Don't.

Oh ma gah.

2006-07-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

I'm thrilled with what I've whipped up this time round. You've got to admit, for a beginner, I'm not so bad. [I love to boost my ego for no particular reason, now don't I? :D]

I've finally come to terms with Photoshop. If it unravelled itself slowly, I promised I wouldn't erase it from my system. I used the very basic of tools to conjure up the images you see on your left but it took me half a day to get the colors and sizes right. And, you've got to back me up here, they defintely look better than some of the ones we've seen with paint splats and disfigured butterflies screwing up the already diminished-pixeleted picture.

And it's a real change, isn't it? From the banal greyscaled skin I retreated to, to this bright thing I like to call my best masterpiece ... yet. The lack of content on my sideline can be blamed on my carelessness, having accidentally deleted my previous code, I wasn't able to retrieve any information, hence the new tagboard, two empty spaces and the many missing links.

I'll fill the voids asap.

---

I haven't been blogging for the past few days because sleep has taken over most of my free time, and the few minutes I spend online are only to watch Russell Peters joke about the British & check whether Chanel's got some smart arsed shit to spew at me.

---

Lately, I've been feeling guilty about many things. One of them is about my rueful thoughts of the people who surround me. I've constantly found faults with them, pinning them down with negativity and resentment. But recently, I've realised that insecurity was the real deal, and being cynical was only a cover-up for my pathetic neurosis.

Don't suppose I'll ever stop being dogmatic, but so far I've managed to cease the feeling, and a little bit of the grouch is lifted off. I've always said I love my friends, but I never really said it wholeheartedly. I know now that they've always been there, even when the pity was fake, the praises superficial, they were always there when I was down at some point.

I love my friends and I'll eat you if you dont.
-grins madly-.

I am worth $1,384,120 on humanforsale.com.

2006-06-27T17:13:00.000+08:00

Sex is evil.
Evil is sin.
Sin is forgivable.
Sex is in.

Ashre is a walking dictionary. He called me a nymphomaniac. Disagreeable, I do not lust after what hangs between the legs. I do not breathe down necks suggestively. So I talk about it, not obsessively, just constantly. I'll give him credit, his English overpowers mine.

---

I'm not a morning person. Give me a disco ball and some beers and I'll party like there's no tomorrow. Throwing in a few friends wouldn't hurt either. Mornings come so fast, nights - they never last.

This morning the alarm woke me, barely, and I kicked the thing down. My maid slinked into my room to shake me awake, and I yelled, 'wtf lah'. For my procrastination and rudeness, I paid $3 worth of cab fare and spent an entire period lingering around the corridors, waiting for the classes to be sent back.

My little sister has it all.
Afternoon session.
Primary One.
Basic Maths.
CCA-less.
Skinny.
Naive.
Spoilt.

Wtf, lah.

First day.

2006-06-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

I surveyed my hair, and it was long, spilling over the collar, which I doubt would be an exception in terms of 'short'.

"This sucks balls." I muttered, parting my hair.

"Today, school starts for students all over Singapore! I used to remember when I was a teenager, always checking out girls ..." The DJ seemed blissfully unconcerned about the grief I was feeling.

"You, suck balls." I told the radio, round and silver, undaunted with cheery oblivion.

I slipped lax hair behind my ear and reached for the black hairband, streching it slightly to allow a smooth laspe on my head. I pulled slightly more, and the fucking thing broke into half. I stared at the two pieces incredulously, equal half in each hand.

"Oh, this officially sucks balls!" I mused out loud, and semi-wilted, sensing an ominous day drawing ahead.

---

The girls crashed my place today, made their own pizzas, camwhored, had pillow fights, played Bullshit and watched Scary Movie 4. The pizzas were nifty, even after the pegro sauce was out. The pillow fights were hard-hitting fun, literally. Bullshit was bullshit, as Zue might have put it. Mil kept winning every game and Humaira's pile grew into half the deck. Scary Movie 4 was amusing, but wasn't up to par with the last few.

Can't get any better than this.

Neh.

2006-06-25T03:43:00.000+08:00

"all i ate the whole day was 2 slices of cake & samosa, the trianglepuffs. got those food from the SC farewell party. wasn't wat we expected thou. i was thinking of having maybe an extravagant dinner, which has buffet food. or just a simple BBQ. to my dismay, it was just a HUGE cake & just some puffs"
- Sakinah's blog.

I am wiped out from today's picnic/bbq with my family. Me and my cousin [Zul] got to talking and we have more in common than I thought. Camp was awesomeawesomeawesome, my team, France [the last country] made of pure awesomeness won the footdrill competition and the talentime as well. All thanks goes to Ahmad, with his constant rearranging of his disfigured boobs and Humaira who directed the skit, and well, everyone was pretty much awesome. Farewell party though, was, well, as stated above D: School is, tomorrow and homework is, the pits. Some fucktard's left a read-between-the-lines fanmail. Apparently, my hippo butt blocks out sunlight and cuts her oxygen supply or something.

And I've used awesome too much in this post.

ANOTHER camp.

2006-06-22T03:24:00.000+08:00

As the title suggests, I will be gone for two days straight. These leadership camps are really overdoing themselves.

I want to watch Brokeback Mountain so badly. And Scary Movie 4 :D

Tsk.

2006-06-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

I hate getting angry at friends. It just makes me dig every flaw they posses, every imperfection they burden, every fault they harbour.

It just reeks suckism, doesn't it?

I'm not going to be a naggy old prat, but open your eyes, woman. They don't dig you for your personality. They dig you for your looks. Like you said, they thrust you aside when a newbie came, prettier, friendlier, chattier. The only person truly lusting for you is that big Indian man, who probably has only one goal and that's to get you in bed. Hasn't that already happened in the case of Joseph? You know you're influential but yet you still tempt yourself. Whatever for? Yem doesn't like you. What are you trying to show? That you can beat her at everything else? Please. She is more of a social bunny than you ever will be. Albeit the fact that you can amuse other people, you can be fun. But is it enough for them? You knew this would happen. You knew you weren't going to be the apple of their eyes forever. You're going to be another girl, coming and going. Sex or no sex, you're just a momentary thrill. To them, if you're not going to give them what they want, there's always other sluts out there willing to throw themselves at them. What is it that keeps you stradled to them? You know you don't mean as much to them as they are to you. You know they're fun but are they really the type of people you are going to carry for the rest of your life? Gabriel ditched them a long time ago. Are you going too? Or is this going to be another promise, full of emptiness and a replacement to fill the void of the previous promise you broke?

Tell me, Maria. I really want to know.

SAUCE.

2006-06-19T19:52:00.000+08:00

I am not in a depthy mood today so you can all run down to the Pasar Malam and buy 50 cents Guylian-look-a-like chocolates :D

I went for my cousin's wedding yesterday and all was well, cept' I had to help out. Includes:

Clearing tables
Giving out freebies
Refilling the buffet table
Getting yelled at by angry old fags

My cousin, Mujahid wanted to steel every punter who bet he wouldn't karaoke so he grabbed the mike the started singing and dancing to the mawkish song being played. He had the em and pees rotfltao.

He earned $50 so wtf?

I'll never hold my wedding[s] under a void deck.

PRISCILLA BUYS CHEAP PRESENTS FOR HER PRETEND FATHER.
MARIA'S GOT NICE BLACK AND RED BRACES.
HUMAIRA CAN MOTIVATE A LOG TO RUN.
AISYAH NASIR IS HOT.

AND THEY HAVE ALL SAID THAT I, YES, I, NUR WAHIDAH BAW HAVE AWESOME HAIR.

Liverwrust.

2006-06-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

Lala, I'm exhausted from my cousin's wedding and going all over Admiralty Place with Priscilla, will [hopefully] do a proper entry tomorrow because I'm going running with her at 7 tomorrow morn so -

KAZAS!

Gay and proud.

2006-06-17T03:21:00.000+08:00

It's 3.21 in the morning and I'm up checking out the gay pride parades and celebrations in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

All the more reason to go there when I'm a filthy rich journalist :D

Sex.

2006-06-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

Must be the most pleasureble thing on Earth.

I don't mean to sound needy or desperate, but the curiousty of the forbidden is starting to gnaw at me. Sex education here really sucks because all they talk about is how not to be tempted into giving in to a guy. Or how to say no.

Like that really matters.

The real thing they should teach us is how to wear a comdom, or how to masturbate. If a whole lot of people knew their existence, there would be a whole lot less of pregnant teens and abortions. The answers are there. They lay obvious to the naked eye. Yet, society refuses to acknowledge them and instead fill our minds with useless crap like, tell an adult if he is pressurizing you.

In our lives, there are many people we want to please. And if your boyfriend isn't included in that list, you're the saddest fuck there is. Girls, always dressed to kill, putting on their best, treating their boyfriends with the best, and I wouldn't be suprise if giving their boyfriends the best includes oral which in the long run of course, leads to the end of their virginity.

Two weeks in Malaysia without friends and proper society have left my hormones raging, and watching movies with a myriad of sex scenes [mostly out of boredome] has aroused me to a high that I have never felt in my life. I watch boys with more interest than I usually do, and with the question "wonder if he's gay" frequently popping into my head eases me no less.

All the same, I do not display this lust but keeping it bottled up inside me only drives the desire. I told a few friends, getting very different reactions from every single one.

I suppose Singapore is brought up in such a way that the government has diverted our attention to studies and the success one must achieve to survive here that it has protected, and built a barrier to shield us from the taboo truth.

I mean, look at how people reacted to Tammy from Nyp. Her last name has already been changed to from Nyp. And she has been foul-mouthed as a slut and her life is probably ruined because of one stupid sex video which isn't even good quality. The western countries must be rolling on the floor laughing their asses off because we Singaporeans became so uptight about abit of teenage fuckers.

I suppose it's not fair to blame the government only, but with all due respect, it's our heritage that has shunned casual sex as shameless and vulgar. The Malays are respectable people, covering up entirely when going out [at least, most of them do], and touching the opposite's skin before prayer is sinful. So let alone stripping in front of each other... it's self-explainatory, isn't it? The Chinese and Tamils are no different, disapproving sex all the same.

And because Singapore was mainly built on a base of culture and respectiong diversity, the topic was never really properly brought out for the naive to see the ugliness, and sensational. Many of my friends are like that, tittering nervously at the very mention of sex, or simply brushing it off with labelling it as disgusting or perverted. How the hell do you think you were borne?

But sex plays a much more major role in our lives besides reproduction, doesn't it? It keeps adolescent couples together. It keeps marriage alive. It is considered as a form of exercise. The list is endless.

The stark contrast people around me have on sex really tires me out and for awhile, I just go with the flow and cringe whenever someone does something like a blowjob. Pretend, pretend. I'm wary of blending in with everyone so they'd except me as a normal and not some sex-crazed girl.

But recently, even before my two weeks in Malaysia, I've been feeling a want. A want to see for myself. A want to explore the criterion. To find out what really turns someone on. A want to know what really goes on in the act bluntly named as sex.

I've been mouthing off alot, rambling to whoever would listen about orgasms, how the longer is better. I can feel my friends stiffen at the topic. I can feel the awkwardness when it's only me talking, with the other party replying in monosyllable words and some refusing to talk about it at all.

I hope, like Pris has mentioned, this is only a phase I'm going through. Or perhaps, I should adapt Maria's broad-mindedness and view sex as an act of pleasing the other and yourself, not at all sinful.

Perhaps, if you are very much against this entry, think about the last time you got aroused. Surely, when you watched some adult-content movie by yourself, you would have felt parts of you tingling with excitement and erotic delactation.

I know it feels good. Real good.

Lesbo [corrected].

2006-06-15T02:03:00.000+08:00

Me: News, news. Some of my school's girls are lesbians, man.
Maria: Omg, no way?! I didn't think it'd happen in your school.
Me: I know, right?
Maria: Man, how ugly are the guys that they'd have to resort to lesbianity? They put the guys' name to shame!

ROTFLMAO.

Quiz.

2006-06-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

Two people have asked me to do this. No really, two.

20 people you can think of right now. Don't read the questions until you have named the 20 people. At the end of it all, choose 5 people to do this.

[just, complete random (:]
1. PRISCILLA
2. Zubaidah
3. Nnesah
4. Gabriel
5. Maria
6. Aisyah
7. Milyana
8. Cameo
9. Sue
10. Russell
11. Humaira
12. Marius
13. Izzat
14. Sabbie
15. Nikita
16. Adam
17. Samuel
18. Iskandar
19. Aidil
20. Sakinah

How did I meet #14 [Sabbie]?
Back in Sec One, during some Chairpersons' meeting.

What would you do if you never met #1 [PRISCILLA]?
I would question God on why I wasn't blessed with such an aweosme friend :D Oh, wait, I am ...

What would you do if #20 [Sakinah] and #9 [Sue] dated?
I would think, why didn't I bag either one of them first?

Did you ever like #19 [Aidil]?
Yeah, I thought he was hot back then.

Would #6 [Aisyah] and #17 [Samuel] make a good couple?
A fifteen and a fourteen, a rock chic and a cynic. They'd blow balls away.

Describe #3 [Nnesah].
Busy Indian disciplinarian and a great friend (:

Do you think #8 [Cameo] is attractive?
She's got killer legs.

Tell me something about #7 [Milyana]?
A pretty girl like her only snagged two flames who weren't even hot.

Do you know any of #12's [Marius] family?
Yes, Larris. Hilarious.

What are #8's [Cameo] favourites?
Leisure sports.

What would you do if #18 [Iskandar] confess that he likes you?
I would smile politely and vow not to tell Maria.

What language does #15 [Nikita] speak?
English and bad Malay. Hha.

Who is #9 [Sue] going out with?
Some things are not meant to be spoken of D:

How old is #16 [Adam] now?
Cousin, 11. Hot guy, 15.

Who is #2's [Zubaidah] favourite band/singer?
Ashlee Simpson, if memory serves.

Would you ever date #4 [Gabriel]?
Sure.

Would you date #7 [Milyana]?
She's beyond hot, has awesome hair, tight body but NAW, because the date wouldn't contain any conversation.

Is #15 [Nikita] single?
Unfortunately, yes.

What's #10 [Russell]'s last name?
Christian Russell TEO!

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with #11 [Humaira]?
No, every relationship she has ruins their friendships, so I wouldn't want to lose a great friend, now would I?

What school does #3 [Nnesah] go to?
You know, that school.

Where does #6 [Aisyah] live?
The block with a kindergarden near the junction to school, 10th storey, last house to the left.

What's your favourite thing about #5 [Maria]?
Her open-mindedness.

Have you seen #1[PRISCILLA] naked?
I wish!

The five:
1. Maria.
2. Priscilla [Hha, yes you have to do this again.]
3. Nnesah.
4. Sakinah.
5. Sabbie.

I know, right?

2006-06-13T05:23:00.000+08:00

Let's be straightforward here, I hated my two weeks in Malaysia.

I was sure I was going to die on my flight for some reasonable explanation. The hate accumulated from enemies. Or the fact that I had proclaimed myself God and he wanted to punish me. Or that I had put on so much weight during the 2 weeks, I might have exceeded the limit and therefore resulting in tipping the plane off course. The newspaper headlines would read, "Overweight girl dies in plane crash with curry puff in hand."

Let's start with the pillows. The pillows always look like their full of soft cotton, for squeezing, for hugging, for providing the head with a comfortable platform. It's in fact filled with 78% air, and you can feel the pillow deflating into a flat sheet of nothing when you rest your head against it.

I missed my friends to a point till I could include them in my noctural fantasies. I would lay in bed, partly stoned, mumbling sheepishly as if talking to my friends. Getting a room. Too many drinks. Champange dripping into our systems. Conversation between 7 year olds and 40 year olds can't be healthy.

I met my cousins. All of them. The only cousin I spoke to was Adam, because he was the only one who spoke English. He was bourne and bred in Ohio. He came to visit Malaysia as well, for a couple of days before heading back. At the age of 11, he didn't exactly talk my talk. His accent was stronger than Pris's and he didn't say 13th August. He said August 13th.

My acne acted up, disfiguring my face beyond recognition. Hormones suck, man.

My mother went bitchorama on me. Blaming me for causing three quarters of her grief. Her nagging wouldn't stop and I was on the brink of killing myself in the bathtub with a hairdryer. Naked, of course.

I think I've shortened my lifespan by 20 years after two weeks of breathing in carbon monoxide from cars, cars, cars, fires, cars, cars, boat exhaust, cigarettes, cars, cars, and cars.

I got sick of all 83 songs in my MP3 players I almost listened to the malay radio stations. I have an uncle in KK whose a DJ. Ibrahim, or something like that.

Apparently a family of royal hineys decided to stay at my father's hotel, occupying my father with work which meant that me, my mother, brother, sister, and maid had to sit in the hotel room, brooding on Scrable tiles and play who can get on whose nerve's first.

I suppose the lot of you would have skipped all that up there and scrolled down here for the pictures. Reasonable, nobody likes a whiner. And that's only half of what oppressed me.

Suppose, the only thing Malaysia has is picturesque skies.

In the last picture, the sky look divided. And it really is. On the left, I could see the full moon, engulfing the red orange sky, where the sun is, on the right. That's the virtue of skies, isn't it? You don't really need a good angle or a good camera. The beauty is already there - untouched, just waiting to be soaked up by film.

Fishing was boring, but the thrill of catching a fish was almost worth it. Bait, that's something.

Sweet, ain't it? I had to touch them.
Short clips. Enjoy.

Sandman's a rad lil dude, and this last picture's supposedly's a joke. Get it, don't you.

I like fanmail, I like friends.
Souvenirs, I got for them.

Little surprise too. Shampooing just got a whole lot easier.

BACK.

2006-06-13T01:47:00.000+08:00

Oh, the tagboard.
My, my, the tagboard.
ROTFLMAO, the tagboard.
Of all the things, the tagboard.

Love, love, lovity love. Don't I love all of you?
:D

2 weeks.

2006-05-28T10:41:00.000+08:00

I know, right?

2 weeks.

No school.
No friends.
No boys.
No Scrubs.
No Grey's Anatomy.
No Desperate Housewives.
No cable.
No actual conversations.

2 weeks.

Grass on the other side better be greener.

Yeah, haha. I know.

Miss me or die.
<3

Idiotique.

2006-05-27T13:23:00.000+08:00

I'm in a complete mess of emotions right now. I'm taking off tommorrow and I don't feel it. Where's the joy? The euphoria? The eagerness I had felt so many weeks ago when I found out that we were flying off? My consciousness has doubled me over, and left me stranded in a pool of worry, woe, and guilt.

I ditched my friends at Leadership camp because I was tired, and wanted to do other things before leaving tommorow. This desicion failed to ease my problems, only adding more bulk to my sorrow. I can't stand people who cause inconvenience to others in terms of placing themselves in the center of the universe, but that's who I've become now. And I don't hate myself.

But it's understandable, isn't it? Everyone aims the best for themselves, nothing less. In their point of view, it's all about them, their needs, their piorities. Who gives a flying fuck about everyone else? Initiative doesn't really exist. People only lift a finger to help if they can see the benefits they will recieve in doing so. Other than that, they will roll over and turn the other cheek.

Why do you think CIP hours were induced?
And bloody charity shows?

Everyone's an egocentric fucktard. It's just a matter of how good they are of convincing the world the absolute opposite.

I left five books under my table because my mother turned up late for the MTPS. It's either going to be pilfered by the cleaners, or eaten by termites. And I don't think anyone would have the initiative to move them for me, let alone keep them for me. I know I wouldn't, if I wasn't me.

I found out I lost 2kg yesterday and it didn't please me at all. I should have been happy. I would have been happy. But my friends were all in states of fatigue from the camp and I knew that if I told them, all they'd muster up is a "good for you".

I haven't packed, I haven't bought batteries, I haven't borrowed books.

Maybe all the negativity accumulated from my friends and myself might result in a plane crash or the death of my optimism. Or something.

I was going to write an entry to bitch about a friend, thought better of it and the plane crash, and left it to rest.

Maybe I'll feel better tommorrow.
Maybe my friends will forgive me and send their blessings.
Maybe I'll manage everything after all.

Or maybe not.

Fuck I hate my hair.

2006-05-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

It's a long, tangled, unshapely mass of black.
I'll do something about it durings the holidays, you'll see.

I didn't go to school today because my body jerked to consciousess at 8.45; an hour fortyfive minutes too late to hail a cab and hustle to school. The many options of doing the right thing, and not, wavered in my mind for awhile until it made me fall right back to sleep.

Leadership camp tomorrow. I don't know why I don't want to go for it.

Maybe cause I'm in a group of 20, mostly malays.
Maybe cause I despise talking Malay.
Maybe cause I have to take orders from the excos whom I strongly dislike now.
Maybe cause I don't like taking orders from people I don't like.
Maybe cause Thursday might drain me and I might not be able to pass 2.4 on Friday.
Maybe cause I want so badly to ace 2.4, it's killing me.
Maybe cause I'll be away from home for 3 entire days.
Maybe cause I'll be homesick and start mood-swinging.
Maybe cause I won't like the food.
Maybe cause I'd feel like heaving if I don't like the food.
Maybe cause I'll hate queing for bath time.
Maybe cause I don't like feeling hot and sticky in the midst of hot and sticky bodies.

Maybe.

Dinosaur bones.

2006-05-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

I came home from Shatec today to find fine sand and clay bits on the floor. Turns out my brother bought an archaeology set from his Science Fair. It was a block of clay, with artificial dinosaur bones inside and you had to chinsel away all the rock to unravel the fossils. I found it rather amusing.

No, really.

2006-05-22T20:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry we kick ass and you don't.

Happy bilated birthdays Zue, Aisyah & Cameo. Saturday was beyond awesome - we just have a notoriously fickle sense of making desicions.

Student leadership camp.
Thursday to Saturday.
Breaks in between.
School in between.
MTP session in between.
Two leadership talks.
Thirthy-one icebreaking shit.

You can't be serious.

It gets better.

2006-05-18T23:25:00.000+08:00

Have you engaged in sexual intercourse?
Absolutely not!

Have you smoked?
And shorten my lifespan? I don't think so.

Have you tried drugs?
Oh noes, I would never do that. Not even when I'm old & senile.

Have you ever drank any sort of alcoholic drink?
DMJGUPO, man.

And no, my health survey didn't go that way. It was long, boring, slightly explicit and I got a lousy blue sticker pad in return for my pen's ink and honest opinions.

Marksheet was checked today, and I realised that I scored better than I did during the common tests. I'm not entirely happy, bacause I know I didn't put in my best. That caused me alot, namely my iPOD nano.

I feel strongly obligated to accept my mother's desicion. She didn't give me my iPOD because I didn't score As for every single subject. I daresay she's mad.

She already locked it in her closet, rotting away its' megabites to the defeaning silence. An iPOD should be exposed; to the fresh air, the sun, the sweet smell of roses. Not kept in a dark place, alone and cold, depriving a teenager of portable music.

So I'm settling for another MP3 she bought. Of course, sans the pish-poshness and OMGWTFBBQ SO KOOL LAH!!

---

Everyday, I'm starting to despise the old, malay, balding security guard more and more. I don't like his promptness when it comes to the locking the gate on time. I don't like the way he smirks at everyone running for their lives. I don't like how he rattles the gate to warn everyone of it's closure. I don't like how he comments on my responsibility of an SC everytime I slip pass him. I hope he loses all his hair tonight.

Along the road to school today, my legs cramped from walking too fast. The acid in my legs shot up and all I could feel was the burning pain and the sharp numbness merging together to form Agony United & Co. I should have ran, but for some silly reason I restrained, walking so fast that I could have burnt the pavement if I stood still.

One more week of hell.
One more week of hell.
I know I'm not religious, but God ... oh forget it.

The China students.

2006-05-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

They're that group of chinese students that blend into the crowd like ants in grass. They muse thoughtfully, quiet whispers and giggles rustle amongst them, and you know nothing they say could possibly make an impact in your life. They're the students that you'd never take a second look at, or never think, "damn, she's hot!".

But they have been treading on us eversince they stepped onto the plane to Singapore.

I must be the most ill-informed girl in the world because I keep asking myself - what's wrong with China? Why the hell must they come to our country and dominate academically, leaving us Singaporean students in the dust? Why must they reign top in Science and Math, English even - degrading us.

It's not that I have anything against them. Hell, I even like some of them because one was my partner in Sec one and the ones in my class are easily amused by my frothy jokes. Even so, it's a natural sense of humanity to feel a pang of ... slight infuriation whenever she tops the class in a particular subject.

Even if we do complain, that Singapore is a money-hungry country. One filled with little attractions and overall failing to provide us with enough room to nurture talents. But when we were brought up, the pride for our country was injected into us, and it's natural to feel slightly uncomfortable when foreingers actually do better than us.

OR, maybe I just need to study harder.